Writing is better than seeing an incompetent therapist.

 

 Externalizing your thoughts—whether by writing them down or speaking them out loud—can help impose structure on the jumble in your head. When you talk, you’re forced to put your ideas into words, sequence them, notice gaps, and test them against another person’s reactions. That feedback loop is hugely important.

But if the person you’re talking to isn’t tuned in—if they’re distracted, dismissive, or simply can’t follow what you’re saying—that loop breaks:
You don’t get useful feedback.

You need someone who actively listens, reflects, and maybe asks clarifying questions. If instead they glaze over or respond irrelevantly, you end up talking into a void. You’ll still feel like your thoughts are swirling around, but without the stabilizing effect of mirrored understanding.

You can feel invalidated.
A core need in any supportive conversation is to feel heard. If your listener seems to miss basic points, you may second-guess yourself (“Maybe I really am unclear,” or worse, “Maybe my feelings don’t matter”). That can amplify the very loop you’re trying to escape.

You lose momentum and motivation.
Engaged listeners help you build forward motion: “Oh! I hadn’t thought of it that way.” But a poor listener stalls you. You might give up mid-sentence, deciding it’s not worth the effort.

You risk reinforcing negative patterns.
If someone constantly misinterprets you, you might start framing yourself in terms you know will “land” with them—rather than in terms that truly reflect your experience. Over time, that can lead you to second-guess your own voice.