Therapy is supposed to be safe space to process thoughts and emotions.
When a therapist repeatedly steers you toward “understanding” or centering an abusive partner’s feelings—while you’re already sacrificing your own—several concerns come up. Here’s how to think it through and what you can do: 1. Why this stance can be risky Potential Issue What It Looks Like Why It Hurts You Safety & Power Imbalance Ignored The therapist talks about his childhood wounds or stress at work but says little about the violence, threats, or coercion you face. Empathy becomes a tool that normalizes or excuses abuse, keeping you in danger. Re-enactment of the Abuse Dynamic You try to raise your own fears; the therapist redirects you to “see it from his side.” You relive the pattern of placing his needs first, reinforcing self-blame and eroding self-trust. Ethical Boundary Concerns The therapist seems more invested in “saving the relationship” than in your safety or autonomy. Professional codes require that client welfare—and in IPV cases, victim safety—come f...